It is a challenge to maintain the relationship with in-laws. When this relationship is strong, it proves to be of a critical support may it be in raising children, valuing family traditions or having financial contributions. There are many benefits of maintaining the relationship with in-laws, wherein it is generally found to be difficult. To build and maintain the in-law relationship, two questions need to be resolved
- It is important to know why it is hard to maintain the relationship with in-laws and
- how can one maintain and build strong in-laws relationship?
Research across the cultures has shown that three challenges make it difficult to keep healthy and positive state and communication in the relationship with in-laws.
1. Nearly Everyone has In-Laws
In spite of a bad standing almost every one has in-laws, maybe with their own marriage, or siblings in-laws or in-laws of their parents. Relationships with in-laws are ever-present and this is the reason they are taken for granted. The belief that the relationship cannot be close enough, result in working for not worth investing. At times this also assumes that the relationship would be maintained for them by the partner or at times it is even expected that it would be maintained by their sibling. These kinds of assumptions and beliefs may prove to be dangerous. Rather, at times the in-laws think well about to maintain and invest in a relationship and take it as their responsibility to do so.
2. In-Law Relationship is Three Dimensional
The relationship is Triadic or three dimensional. Three people are involved in this relationship and not two. This is a relationship in which, two people are known to each other since long and the new relation that develops with a new entry. Adjustment is with context to the new member is not the only exist but the existing known long-term relation also changes. When a man marries, the girl adds on a mother-in-law and the mother adds on a daughter-in-law. This daughter-in-law and mother-in-law relationship may be new (two-dimensional), and here at the same time the mother-son relationship also undergoes wild and vivid changes (three-dimensional). The changing and handling roles and responsibility between women at times be threatening. Initially, the base of interaction between the ladies revolves around the man – the common link between the two. With time, things may change, and the relationship between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law may develop confidence and a stand-alone relation.
In this scenario, the researchers call upon the son as the key player or even a linchpin, that holds two other people together.
3. A Non-Voluntary Relationship
The relations between the family of origin are different and non-voluntary. Biological family members are taken for granted with a presence of unconditional love. We don’t push away if hurt by the biological family members. This may not be true for non-voluntary relationships with in-laws. Like, you tend to complain to your husband of any unpleasant behavior of your mother-in-law. Here, you may not split the relationship, but assume to accept as constant and a person in your life that is not chosen by you.
It is not necessary to have a negative relationship with in-laws.
- Relationship with in-laws may not be always traumatic. The reality is that by changing your perception the relationship can prove to be better. We likely have a relationship as we expect. How we communicate with each other shapes our relationship. this is purely in relation to our expectation that has an effect on our relationship.
- Researchers have proved that overcoming communication flow improves the relationship between the two most powerful and ever-existing relationship. they can even share their feelings and thoughts and disclose any information with each other. This builds up the bond between the two. Self-disclosure strengthens any relationship. disclosing things at an appropriate time to be taken care of.
- It is vital to respect each other’s differing values, maybe by talking on some issues, listening truly and responding in calm and with respect. such interactions can be avoided if it results in heat-ups. Wherein, if this conversation is shown up at some intervals, can result in and can key up the relationship. The perception like they care for the kid, is the reason for their comments on our way of parenting, gives a new direction to the thought process.
Finally, expressing openly and communicating each other’s acceptance in a group or any social family events work wonders.